Your mother has fallen ill and you and the rest of your family is trying to not only make sense of what’s going on, you’re also concerned about her care when she gets out of the hospital. You live closest to your mother and everyone in your family is leaning on you to take charge and be the caregiver for her. So what do you do?
You’re a busy, working professional and raising two children of your own; you don’t have a lot of time and don’t think that it would be the best idea to be responsible for your mother’s care. However, you also don’t want to push for a home care provider because then your mother and the rest of your family could interpret that as being that you don’t care about her, or that you don’t want to support her, especially when she supported you through all those years of your life.
Nearly two out of every five people in this country are caregivers to a family member at some point in their life. It’s one of the easiest things to say that you’re going to do it, or that you want to do it, but most people don’t fully appreciate or understand just what it takes to be a caregiver for a loved one.
You need to think about what’s best for your mother in this situation, not what the rest of your family thinks would be most convenient. You may feel as though you owe it to your mother to be there for her. After all, she was there for you during all those years of your life, your childhood and the struggles that you went through during your early adulthood.
So when is it right to simply say no to being a family caregiver? The answer to that question is actually quite simple: when you know that an in home care provider would be better for her. You may love your mother with all your heart, but when you have other obligations and responsibilities, you will have trouble providing the right level of care for your mother through the weeks and months ahead. It’s not that you don’t want to; it’s that you understand that there are only so many hours in a day.
Sometimes we have to say no to being a family caregiver, not because we don’t care, but because we care more than anything. In those cases, hiring a home care provider is the right thing to do.